I am nearly five months pregnant now! Can you believe that? How time passes so fast!

I have had some good thing and some not so good things happen recently and I say alhumdulilah for all of them.

Like on the bad side: My family and I were followed around in a store recently. It was pretty blatant too. We could not help wondering if it was because we were Muslim, black or both! It really made me sad that it was another minority that did it. My husband called the manager to complain. I hope she did not get fired but maybe learned a lesson.

The good side: I am helping out a fellow Muslim convert start her own business. She is really an awesome lady and I have a chance to make some money and work somewhere that I can take my kids and/or baby to when I need to. If you need your hair braided in Kansas City, hijabs or discount clothes let me know! 😉

I am having a baby! I’m due in February so I have a ways to go. Why am I telling so soon? Well, I lost my first child at nearly 7 months pregnant. After that I decided to always share and be happy about my pregnancies from the get go. Every moment is a blessing…..Yes, even the ones where you hurl or have heartburn, can’t sleep or run to the restroom every five minutes. Don’t even take the yucky parts for granted!

If something does happen, Allah forbid, I will have people who know what’s going on that I can lean on.

I am loving the clothes at Maysaa! Her designer’s blog is great as well. It’s here.

My husband and I have come to the decision that I would stay at home once we get settled. I will still probably work from home and take college courses for my own enjoyment but I would mainly be a housewife.

It’s a relief to me to be honest. I spent the last near 10 years being a single Mom who worked, tried to go to college and did it all herself and burned out and stayed burned out for a long time. I want to enjoy my kids without as much stress. I know it won’t be easy but in all honesty I have no desire to try to “do it all” anymore. It’s not worth it for me.

I do plan on doing me and having fun and purpose in life. We plan on working for ourselves and growing our own food. Maybe having a couple of more kids, inshallah. I want to create in any way I can.

I am glad I remarried my ex..it gives him a chance to make up for the lost years. The whole history here is complicated..let’s say. We met, had a hot mess of a dysfunctional relationship, had 3 kids (one stillborn, two living), I divorced him, he spent a good 8 years (not all at once) in jail, we both made our way to Islam and therapy separately, made our way slowly back to each other…sometimes reluctantly, realized that we love each other still and could be good together and finally remarried. Whew and alhumdulilah! It’s actually a little more dramatic but I will leave it as that. I also married someone else for a few months in there, after I became Muslim.

He knows where I have been and what I have been threw and he is supportive in where I am going. I can be me with him. I think I will call him my rehusband!

Great article about wearing niqab in the US.

Don’t read the comments….they are headache inducing for the most part.

I don’t wear niqab but I think it is a wonderful thing for those who choose to wear it. I wear hijab to feel closer to Allah (swt) so I can understand how spirituality can influence dress.

One of my favorite place is a community on LJ called modest_style. It’s a place where women of all manner of belief and come together to talk about dressing modestly. Yes, there are secular and even atheist women who dress modestly, some dress not much differently from me. Some are even more conservative in dress than I am.

I got married and turned 30 all in one weekend. Things are looking up and I promise to blog more, inshallah!

I have not been on lately because I have been very busy lately. I am getting married soon, starting a business, kids are out of school for the summer and so on. Alhumdulilah, everything is good!

I want to say something about the flotilla incident that happened Monday: Not cool, Israeli government, not cool.

I am about sick and tired of non-Muslims talking about hijab. What is or is not halaal, haraam or bidah or what it means and all that.

Really? You can kindly step off with that mess and maybe sit down and listen to what Muslim woman say, all of us. The hijabi and the non, the niqabi and and everything in between. It’s not for you to decide but for us. All on our own level.

I have been struggling lately in just about every way I can. Today I realized how trivial I have been treating my life. My Dad going in the hospital today was a much needed kick in the pants. The things I was so worried about mean so very little.

Inshallah, I can do better from now on.

I was in yahoo chat and was asked a question from another Muslim after they found out I was a convert.

how u convert and why
ahly: ?
Me: I converted a couple of years ago and because i feel that Islam is the truth fro me
ahly: can u explain why
ahly: ?i meant u was free
ahly: u could do any thing
ahly: but after islam that make u kinda not free 100%
ahly: right
ahly : ?

This has made me think a lot since that conversation. I see Islam as freedom in a way. A freedom I needed in my life that I never really had. I am way happier now than before. I did let a lot of things go but I feel I have something better for it. I feel free overall but I can see how someone might not see Islam that way.

I have lived a different life and am very glad I had the experiences I had, good and bad. I don’t think I would have become Muslim without it.